First, I'm not saying I am the knower of all relationship problems and actually no one is because when it boils down to it, it is the people in the relationship that make the final decision. With that said, not all relationships work out as we already know and yes sometimes divorce is the best option, but notice I said sometimes. Like it or not, divorce usually is the the worst choice according to research.
To put it plainly, research says you will be no happier by getting a divorce on average and possibly even more unhappy. If you need more details I will give you an example of one particular study that was done by the University Of Wisconsin. There were 600 and something couples selected who said they were unhappy with their marriages. After 5 years, 78% of those couples that got a divorce said they were still just as unhappy or even more unhappy after they divorced. 66% of the couples who chose to stay together said they were happier and now had great marriages. So who is the winner? The people who stayed married and this has been proven time and time again on other studies.
So, what is their to learn from this? Well, first get the idea or dream of relief out of your head if you think divorce is the only answer and will give
you happiness. More than likely, you will be just as unhappy or unhappier than you were prior.
Why? Well, more than likely it is because of all the other things you haven't thought of such as:
- It is not a fast answer. It is a long emotional road to get divorced. All the legal matters and getting everything signed takes a while.
- Can you deal with being alone?
- Do you have kids? This is a whole new ball game. Have you thought about them and their thoughts? Oh yeah, think about child support. And who is going to get custody and who will they stay with most the time or who do they want to stay with?
- Thinking of getting remarried? Do they have kids too? If so, now you have to deal with step-children and your children and your step-children's real Mom or Dad that used to be married to your now current spouse. I know confusing right, but it is true
- What about friends you had with your spouse? Now, all that is more than likely gone. According to research, most friends that you may have had with your ex-spouse and used to hang out with together will no longer be so-called friends anymore.
Now, am I pressuring you to say no way or no how to divorce? Heck no! I'm just stating things everyone should think about when considering it. In fact, if you are reading this more than likely you are questioning divorce and I can go ahead and tell you if you are questioning it you more than likely shouldn't. You know why? Because most people who got a divorce don't question it. They KNOW it is the ONLY option. They have already tried everything and are physically and emotionally tired. They don't look for more help and they sure don't get on the internet and look for advice because they have already tried making their marriage work.
Try to make your marriage work before making such HUGE decisions all based on emotions and without thinking about everything thoroughly. Get a counselor or professional help such as the many offered online like the how to get over an affair programs offered here on this site.
